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It's looking like one of those days.......It's been a while since I've posted anything to this blog but because of an altercation that just took place, I feel compelled to write to the viewers.
I've had a man now for going on 4 months. When I first got with my man it was an ideal situation...my bestfriend had recently gotten into a relationship too! This was perfect because she could spend time with her man and I could spend time with mine. Neither of us would be too clingy and we could both enjoy friend time as well as quality time with our bf's. However, our relationships were very different. You see I moved in with my man shortly after we met and we are taking things very seriously...my friend on the other hand was with her man but things were going down hill. All of a sudden she started throwing jabs at my relationship...saying that it wasn't as serious as her relationship and that (check this one out) I WAS ONLY IN A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE SHE WAS IN ONE. Well, irony bit her in the ass....and her relationship didn't make it pass the 2 month mark. Now she's full of venom and is becoming so clingy it's not funny. She curses me out...she gets mad when I spend time with my man...and she's very narcisstic and irrational lately. Not to mention, every chance she got she was telling me how I needed to leave my man. "Oh...let me get this straight...he forgot to put the toilet seat down? Leave his ass! He ain't no good." I started to wonder if she really had my best interest at heart. Today we got into a huge argument and it ended with me telling her that I needed a break from our friendship. Now I'm sitting here trying to figure out if I was wrong for wanting to spend time with my man...
He's originally from Senegal but he has lived in France for the last 20 years. He's beautiful...with smooth chocolate skin, deep dimples, straight white teeth, and a nicely built 6"2, 225 pound frame. He mesmorizes me to say the least. I love his accent, he can say even the most simplest things and I will stare at him in awe as if he just rehearsed a monologue from one of Shakespeares playwrights.
BUT AS USUAL...no man can get it one hundred percent right!! He works in the insurance business and lives a very comfortable lifestyle with a condo in the Hollywood Hills. The downside to this is that he never has time on his hands. He's constantly in the O.C. trying to expand his business and that means that we rarely go out.
The other day I texted him: A man makes time for what he wants to make time for.
He texted back: I more than want u...I need u...but if I can't have you...I understand. I'm focused on my business and I love you but if you need to find someone else I understand.
I texted back: Sounds like a great idea.
I was pissed to say the least. Here I am trying to acommodate him and his schedule and he drops me like a bad habit? He ended up begging me to let him come over so we could talk about our little text convo in further detail. I agreed. It was 12 in the morning when I let him into the apartment. The first thing out of his mouth was an apology. He told me that it would hurt him to see me with anyone else and that he didn't mean what he said. He said he was being selfish and that he wanted to take what we had to the next level. It took a little while for me to forgive him but once he gave me that sweet soft kiss and hug I was done for! I like to think that I am firm in my standards and expectations when it comes to men but this guy...he knows just what to say and do!
We held hands, cuddled, talked, and kissed for the rest of the night. We always have great conversation...we talked about our embarrassing childhood stories, our travel experience, and our past relationships. He then said that he wanted to make me his official girlfriend. I turned to him and kissed him on the cheek. I was overjoyed! He left at seven in the morning and when he gave me a hug goodbye I didn't want to let go! The day after he took me out for lunch and I said something that I would soon regret. I said, "Sweetie...I missed you already!"....
He looked at me, smiled, and responded with, "Sweet."
I knew then that he didn't really want to be my boyfriend...he just wanted to have me to himself. There is a big difference between the two and many women fail to realize the difference. He didn't want to be mine..but he wanted me to be his. This is unacceptable to me. I haven't officially called it off...but I know that things won't be the same. I think it's time for me to move on from this playboy. We are clearly looking for two different things....
